For the past month I have been agonizing about my future on which company to internship for and what programs to major on later for my degree in Kuala Lumpur. I did not plan to ever have this education talk to my mum, no particular reason to why though.
She bought home some food today for lunch and just haphazardly I asked her " When you were younger, what did you want to become? " She was chewing on her food while replying " I didn't have any dream, nobody taught me to have a future, I just took whatever that was in my way and figure them out later. I did not know how I would turn out, I mean I did not even graduate Form 5 but I was hardworking, I bought my own house by not planning how I could effort it. What I do know is that I want my bank account's figure to increase and not decrease so next time I don't have to worry so much." After saying that much she continued munching on her food without asking or wondering what was going on.
Countless times people around have told me not to worry because there was no beneficial impact to it. And I know , I understood it but when you are not in the same situation as others somehow it is always easier said then done. There is a quote by the late Steve Jobs that goes , " Stay hungry, stay foolish". I guess that is what my mum is. She had no clue of what the world could offer her, she had no sign from the universe that she was going to survive through two divorces and building up a family on her own. There was no indication that she could effort to send me to college today but she did.
I think life is about saying yes to opportunities you are afraid of, it is about the hard work tears and the sleepless nights trying to figure out what's next. It is about the laughers while talking about passed events on how we broke down not knowing if we could make it. It is the journey of making new friends and surrounding yourself with unfamiliar situations and things that make you feel alive. It is about failures that makes us stronger than ever, it is about feeling motivated. Lastly , I think life is interesting because the future is unknown, so cheers to looking forward to whatever that may come cheers to not knowing what's next, and cheers to living the moment as it is now.
Special Appreciation Post To My Mother :
In my life, I will never understand the things you have to go through to make sure we have the best things in life. I can only imagine your struggle and frustration as a single woman trying to provide what you can for this family . I will be forever grateful for the things I have today as a young adult. You have provided shelter over my head , supply food for my ever hungry tummy, giving me the opportunity to study the course that I like and contributing knowledge of the outside world that I can never find in publications. Though you are not the type of mother that will say I love you or give kisses instead of smacking people's buttocks , there would not be a day that I am not proud of calling you my mum. Everyday is mother's day with you. Thank you ma, I owe you my life.
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