Dear Future, PLEASE STOP SCARING ME.

Have you ever had the thought like " how and where will I be 5 or 10 years from now?" or like "what's gonna happen to me / who will I be?" . Thinking bout the future really scares the shit outta me , i'm not even kidding. I mean every time i go on Tumblr they have all these positive quotes and all that. BUT WHAT THE HELL. You have no idea what's gonna happen. I'm sure as hell that insurance cant even cover your ass on how you feel. 

I am a girl with big dreams, tho i'm still not very sure who I will become in the future but i always have hope. Thing is I am also a girl who wants so much more in life that i am actually afraid whether i have enough time to do all the things i want to do. 

Lately I've been stressing out about my midterms and all the other assignments. College is fun i'm not gonna deny ( CAUSE I BOLEH MAKAN DALAM CLASS AND DO WHAT
eVER THAT HIGH SCHOOL TAK BOLEH BUAT) but honestly it ties down your time. For example my Monday class is like 10 -5 pm one hour break in between and Wednesday is like 2pm-5pm. I cant work or do anything in the morning or evening because either i would be doing assignments or working (because if you no work, you cant save money to travel) or sleeping. 

After graduation, either you continue your Degree or find a job then you get stable and settle down. THIS IS WHAT SCARES ME. I want to be able to have fun and be successful at the same time. I've known people who work their asses off and true, that they are filthy rich but they dont know how to have fun. Like working became the reason why they live. I think that a job is important but it should be a part of your life. I mean I wouldnt want to look back and tell my kids " OH i've graduated from degree and work and work and work and met your dad , fall in love, have you guys and im old now." I want to tell them stories from my scrapbook " oh you should one day visit so and so. Look at this! Isnt it amazing how they do so and so? See this picture? The culture is unique isint it?" 

I want to be able to inspire my kids too and tell them life isnt just about being rich or having a great job, it is also about going out in the world and experience whatever that the world could offer you, even if its bad or good. At least, we're able to learn things that books cannot offer us. We need to go out there to feel and experience it ourselves. 

I think that it's not scary of what is going to happen in the future, i think what scares us is if we're gonna make it to wherever we want to be or being able to do the things we want to do. 

But till then, wish me luck. :)