Honestly, I dont know how to start, its been such a long time since i've wrote a diary or read a novel or even blog till recently i bought a book entitled "Limitless" by Nick Vujicic. I am moved and inspired bout his life testimony and how he had lived his life fully and how he enjoyed his life even tough he wasnt like any of us. Reading his stories and how he had live through all the storms and fight through his teenage life does not make me wane cry but it makes me realized that i have no reason not to live mine to the fullest.
I've always thought that being alone is one of the worst feeling in life, and often i thought that being alone is weird and i would always take out my phone and go through whatever it is (even if its nothing) so that people dont think im a weirdo or they wont put me in the "forever alone" category. I''ve been like that ever since i stepped into high school. A couple of days back i took a step out of my comfort zone and I asked a very good friend of mine to drop me at Straits Quay. I bought along Nick's book and also my diary.
At first it was kinda weird cause the feeling kicks in again, whereby people look at you and wonder why you are alone. I just pluck my headphones on and get comfortable sorta escape reality for awhile. I started off reading where i left off and begin to highlight all those inspirational things he wrote. Time really flies when you're indulged in your favorite novel and at one point i decided to take a sip of my drink and i looked around the whole restaurant. I came to realized that what i am doing is really relaxing. I mean i've always had that mindset that going on a vacation and all that would be relaxing, it is but i've never felt so "wow" before.
Sometimes hanging out alone is fine. im learning how to enjoy that now. You'll think whatever you want to think and you just let your mind run free for awhile. The feeling is pretty awesome.
I remember what Nick wrote in his book, he says that people back then get tattoos and piercing to show their personality but nowadays you can see mothers in supermarket having them too. Teenagers are trying so hard to fit in to the much more "popular gang" to feel more belonged and if they dont they'll feel lowly of themselves and trying to end their lives. Nobody likes being rejected. Truth is if you dont accept yourself of who you are or if you dont love yourself then tell me, who is going to do so? We are lack of unconditional love and acceptance.
Truthfully speaking i used to be very insecure bout my height. Most of my friends are at least 160cm and above and im here being the shortayyyy. Along the years i would look at my friends being able to pull off those hot denim jeans and maxim dresses while i just go for shorts all the time. Sometimes when i read through the magazine and see all those hot models having sharp features while you know i've a flat nose.
I was so depressed till the point i asked my mum if i should get a nose job. Seriously i am not even kidding. It was that bad, because when i take side faced pictures i look horrible. What really changed my thoughts was (if i wasnt mistaken) it was Nicole and Dana who told me that if i were to have a sharp nose it wouldnt fit my features and i would look like an alien. Dana told me that short people are the ones that shine most.
True friends always tend to bring you up and they would make the best out of your worst thoughts.
I dont know if its coincidence but Nick wrote something bout self-acceptance as well and it really help me rebuilt my confidence, (i dont have the book with me now so its not gonna be exact, but the main point is about self-acceptance) he had a hard time trying to belong somewhere and then he realized that not having limbs makes him stand out in the crowd that he is not like everyone else he is his own speciality. Sometimes when you feel like you're not worth it , go look in the mirror and stare at one of your favorite features of yourself, let yourself dwell in that moment for awhile. God made you so dont ever think you're not worth it.
BE CRAZYY PEOPLE CRAZYYYYY :D
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