Now we all have bad days, we all have moments that breaks us, sometimes we feel sad for no reason and sometimes really, we feel numb. I'm not saying that it's anomalous. Thing is are we going to make that define us or we're gonna change our mind to feel better about ourselves? Are we going to let us lose ourselves and just never get back up or are we going to tell fear and all negative emotions "IM GONNA KICK YO ASS!" CAUSE YOU AINT THE BOSS OF ME YOU LIL SHIT". So you choose.
I'm 19 this year and yes people who don't know me say things like "Oh you're still young, you still have a lot to discover and be ready for the world". Thing is, you don't know anything about me and you're acting all psychologist on me, but really you're a psycho. Point is, I've been through bad break ups and the most unforgiving moments with family members that crushed me till a point where I think that i should probably just vanish from the face of the earth. I know i sound dramatic now, but if you can relate, you'll know what i mean. *winnk*
I went through a minor depression once back in high school cause things were messed up, and I didn't really talk to anyone about it except for my exes whom i was dating back then. But you see, sharing your problems to the wrong people doesn't really help you feel any better. Now don't get me wrong, most of my exes are good people and they did listen to me but i guess i was just sort of dating at the wrong age and maybe i've expected too much from someone. I couldn't blame them in anyway because they've not been through the same situation and we were all still so very young.
Truth be told, i was lost as a teenager, i got involved in a lot of wrong relationships that broke me even more and it effects my thinking and my relationship with people I love that truly cared about me as a whole person, it effected my studies and my emotions. All that i was feeling was just berserk and it reached a point where i no longer feel happy or sad , and most of the time I don't really know if I'm genuinely happy when I'm laughing . I was messed up.
Here are a few steps that I think might help you, it doesn't apply on everyone as everyone is different in their own way and different perspective think differently. :)
1. "IF ONE HAS A WHY TO LIVE, THEY CAN LIVE THROUGH LIFE ANYHOW"
-UNKNOWN-
Things started to change when i started attending church, when I've found something to believe in. My reason was because Christ died for my sins and love me when I'm broken down to nothing and He still sees me as someone that is capable of doing anything. Your reason for living could be anything, It could be your mum, it could be a company you work for who loves you, it could be wanting to be rich because you want to help out the refugee camps in Africa, anything. As long as you have a purpose to live, and you strongly believe in it, nothing in this world can stop you. I mean it.
2. "CHANGE YOUR THINKING AND YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD"
-NORMAN VINCENT PEALE-
Your early morning thoughts are the most important ones yet because whatever you feed in the morning is going to effect your day. Lets say you start off your day telling yourself " OH GOSH, work again? arghhhhhh" thing is you haven't even start your day and you already expect the worst out of it. WHERE IS YOUR DRIVE?! Wake up in the morning and tell yourself " IM GONNA NAIL THIS MOFO CAUSE IM THE BOSS! (boss of yourself la, don't go up to your boss and say that , later kena fired blame Ashley) Always hope and wish for the best of that day, and you'll see things differently.
3 "EXPECT THE WORST BUT DON'T RUN AWAY WHEN IT COMES"
We can never runaway from stress, because no matter what stage in life you are living , you're still undergoing stress. We can't runaway from it but we are in control of conquering the worst situations in life. I am a college students taking Mass Communications. I'll tell you this, like most students I AM KIA SU BUT I AM ALSO A PROCRASTINATOR. So I never really care about the dateline until the lecturer reminds me or if other students in the class brings it up. That's when my motivation comes in and i start hyperventilating and get all panicky. HAH DRAMA. No. I mean i do get panic but see, my point is there is no point being stressed out on this because if you over think on whether you're gonna get it done, you're not because you are now wasting time letting the stressed get the best out of you.
Just write down what is needed to be done first, then take things step by step. You might burn the midnight oil and go to class feeling lethargic but at least you get things done, properly. Take one problem at a time, tell problem you are the master of it and you're taking control of its uglay ass. ;)
4. "FITTING IN"
Back in high school, I was always the odd one out. I don't have a lot of friends, but I have friends that cared about me and those friends I say are true friends indeed. Randall and Edreal, if ever you are reading this, I love you both very much. I hated being the odd one out because it seems like I'm missing out on a lot of things and I always tell myself that I am just not cool enough, so i had my hair done curly and all that. Let me tell you something, if you don't fit in. Be alone because being alone is better than being with friends that treat you like you invisible girl! Now looking back to those days I am grateful because when I'm alone in class i tend to read a lot of books that help ameliorate my perspective of living and English.. I started to doodle and write short stories every now and then. Other than that, I'm glad I was away from their little chats because it was all about talking shitty stuff about another person So to all those who try to fit in GROW A BACKBONE, because being alone means being out of your comfort zone, and being out of your comfort zone is when you start living the life you want.
5. "WHY SO SERIOUS?"
NOT TRYING TO SAY, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE CRAYCRAY OKAY? Be serious at the right time. What I'm trying to imply here is that, there are always people who is going to bitch about you for no reason or people who dislike you for certain things but then again in life, it is not our responsibility to satisfy everyone. So to all the haters just tell them this quote " I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME, AND THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM."
I didn't say this much so that you guys would pity me or anything, if you do i feel sorry for you because honestly there is nothing to pity about, I am happy now and I learn to fall in love with who I am. And always remember it is okay to feel shitty sometimes , just dont let it define who you are because whoever you are, you are beautiful and I love you.
Till then. Much love. xx.
Truth be told, i was lost as a teenager, i got involved in a lot of wrong relationships that broke me even more and it effects my thinking and my relationship with people I love that truly cared about me as a whole person, it effected my studies and my emotions. All that i was feeling was just berserk and it reached a point where i no longer feel happy or sad , and most of the time I don't really know if I'm genuinely happy when I'm laughing . I was messed up.
Here are a few steps that I think might help you, it doesn't apply on everyone as everyone is different in their own way and different perspective think differently. :)
1. "IF ONE HAS A WHY TO LIVE, THEY CAN LIVE THROUGH LIFE ANYHOW"
-UNKNOWN-
Things started to change when i started attending church, when I've found something to believe in. My reason was because Christ died for my sins and love me when I'm broken down to nothing and He still sees me as someone that is capable of doing anything. Your reason for living could be anything, It could be your mum, it could be a company you work for who loves you, it could be wanting to be rich because you want to help out the refugee camps in Africa, anything. As long as you have a purpose to live, and you strongly believe in it, nothing in this world can stop you. I mean it.
2. "CHANGE YOUR THINKING AND YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD"
-NORMAN VINCENT PEALE-
Your early morning thoughts are the most important ones yet because whatever you feed in the morning is going to effect your day. Lets say you start off your day telling yourself " OH GOSH, work again? arghhhhhh" thing is you haven't even start your day and you already expect the worst out of it. WHERE IS YOUR DRIVE?! Wake up in the morning and tell yourself " IM GONNA NAIL THIS MOFO CAUSE IM THE BOSS! (boss of yourself la, don't go up to your boss and say that , later kena fired blame Ashley) Always hope and wish for the best of that day, and you'll see things differently.
3 "EXPECT THE WORST BUT DON'T RUN AWAY WHEN IT COMES"
We can never runaway from stress, because no matter what stage in life you are living , you're still undergoing stress. We can't runaway from it but we are in control of conquering the worst situations in life. I am a college students taking Mass Communications. I'll tell you this, like most students I AM KIA SU BUT I AM ALSO A PROCRASTINATOR. So I never really care about the dateline until the lecturer reminds me or if other students in the class brings it up. That's when my motivation comes in and i start hyperventilating and get all panicky. HAH DRAMA. No. I mean i do get panic but see, my point is there is no point being stressed out on this because if you over think on whether you're gonna get it done, you're not because you are now wasting time letting the stressed get the best out of you.
Just write down what is needed to be done first, then take things step by step. You might burn the midnight oil and go to class feeling lethargic but at least you get things done, properly. Take one problem at a time, tell problem you are the master of it and you're taking control of its uglay ass. ;)
4. "FITTING IN"
Back in high school, I was always the odd one out. I don't have a lot of friends, but I have friends that cared about me and those friends I say are true friends indeed. Randall and Edreal, if ever you are reading this, I love you both very much. I hated being the odd one out because it seems like I'm missing out on a lot of things and I always tell myself that I am just not cool enough, so i had my hair done curly and all that. Let me tell you something, if you don't fit in. Be alone because being alone is better than being with friends that treat you like you invisible girl! Now looking back to those days I am grateful because when I'm alone in class i tend to read a lot of books that help ameliorate my perspective of living and English.. I started to doodle and write short stories every now and then. Other than that, I'm glad I was away from their little chats because it was all about talking shitty stuff about another person So to all those who try to fit in GROW A BACKBONE, because being alone means being out of your comfort zone, and being out of your comfort zone is when you start living the life you want.
5. "WHY SO SERIOUS?"
NOT TRYING TO SAY, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE CRAYCRAY OKAY? Be serious at the right time. What I'm trying to imply here is that, there are always people who is going to bitch about you for no reason or people who dislike you for certain things but then again in life, it is not our responsibility to satisfy everyone. So to all the haters just tell them this quote " I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME, AND THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM."
I didn't say this much so that you guys would pity me or anything, if you do i feel sorry for you because honestly there is nothing to pity about, I am happy now and I learn to fall in love with who I am. And always remember it is okay to feel shitty sometimes , just dont let it define who you are because whoever you are, you are beautiful and I love you.
Till then. Much love. xx.
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